She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped on the cordless phone.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? Because it said "concentrate"

What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "OH,

LOOK!! Donut seeds!!

A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my back hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Were you ever a blonde?" "Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?" The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!" The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?" "Yes, anything" the blonde promised. With that, the man said, "Follow me." He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door." She did. He then said, "Get on your knees." She did. Then he said, "Take down my zipper." She did. He said, "Go ahead... take it out." She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead!" The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly, "HELLO... MOM?

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices "I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper, "so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp. Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes, The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up. "Oh, no!" the blonde shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said "those are deer tracks." The second blonde said "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The Blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

There was a red head on the side of the road yelling 86,86,86! A blonde came over to asked what she was doing. The red head said if you stand in the middle of the road and yell 86,86 its really fun. So the blonde went out to the middle of the road and started yelling. Then a truck hit her. The red head started yelling 87,87,87!!!

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Q: what does a blonde owl say?
A: what, what?

Q: what do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: a brain tumor.

Q: how do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: how do blonde brain cells die?
A: alone.