Dr. Condoleezza Rice
Speaking of:

Her First Interview with a real reporter

October Sunrise


According to Dr. Condoleezza Rice, we have to bring the fight to the terrorists, because they won't come to us. We have to find them, and even though we do not know where they live or who they are, I guess that doesn't matter. Take Madrid for example.

Now who the hell put those bombs on those trains? They just released the Algerian they arrested, who knows who did it? We thought we would ask Dr. Condoleezza Rice, because; How can we take the fight to the terrorists, when we do not know who or where they are?

Where is Osama Bin Laden? Who brought the fight to us, and murdered American citizens, using Anthrax? If anybody has the answer, it is Dr. Condoleezza Rice. We do not have the intelligence or the resources that Dr. Condoleezza Rice will invariably refuse to disclose, because when it's in the National Security Interest, you have to beg, lie, cheat, borrow and steal, or you can tell the truth.

NSNEWS: It's a very great pleasure for us this evening to say hello to an up-and-coming terrorist fighter, Dr. Condoleezza Rice.

RICE: "Hello, it's good to be here."

NSNEWS: "What do you do to combat terrorism?"

RICE: "We are bringing the fight to the terrorists and making their world smaller and smaller and smaller... "

NSNEWS: "According to Pakistani officials, Ayman al-Zawahiri, may be holed up, just like Saddam Hussein. Will it be good for the war against terrorism if he is caught?"

RICE: "It doesn't really matter you know."

NSNEWS: "What do you mean?"

RICE: "Terrorism is like a hydra with many heads. If any of the heads are severed another will grow in its place."

NSNEWS: "So how do you plan to defeat terrorism?"

RICE: "Like the President said, this is going to take years."

NSNEWS: "How many years?"

RICE: "Many, many, many years."

NSNEWS: "Do you have to be so specific?""

RICE: "The President said it's going to take years and the President has been right so far."

NSNEWS: "Ms. Rice, Republican National Security Advisers have a very shady past, does it go with the territory?"

RICE: "I have a bachelor's degree in political science, cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, from the University of Denver, a master's from the University of Notre Dame and a Ph.D. from the Graduate School of International Studies at the University of Denver."

NSNEWS: "Right, but who does all the work, is it still Oliver North and John Poindexter? "

RICE: "No way hozay !"

NSNEWS: "Ms. Rice, if Oliver North can run an enterprise out of the White House basement, he can do just as well from a penthouse suite with a modem, don't you think?"

RICE: "And a mouse."

NSNEWS: "I beg your pardon?"


NSNEWS: (comic voice) "Did you say he would need a modem AND a mouse?"

RICE: "That is correct."

NSNEWS: "I'll be damned, you're thorough."


RICE: "That's why I chose the intelligence business.

NSNEWS: "Well, umm... it certainly didn't choose you. Now Oliver North created quite a splash as a member of Reagan's National Security Council, is he still running the show, Ms. Rice?"

RICE: "That was then, this is now..."

NSNEWS: "Ms. Rice, our sources have indicated that North was embedded with U.S. troops in Iraq, where his helicopter was struck by enemy fire and he witnessed some of the first American casualties of the war. Does Mr. North report directly to the President?

RICE: "The President only mentioned David Bloom, but to answer your question -NO -he reports to Dick Cheney. "

NSNEWS: "So he's running the government then? "

RICE: "No, he's just keeping us all safe."

NSNEWS: "Do you know what Oliver North said about Abu Nidal, in 1987, when he was asked 'And what do you recommend we do about him?' "

RICE: "What?"

NSNEWS: Oliver North said, "If it were me I would recommend an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth."

RICE: "Yes."

NSNEWS: "Is that our current policy?"

RICE: "Yes. So far, yes."

NSNEWS: "And how would that policy work against somebody like Abu Nidal?"

RICE: "What do you mean?"

NSNEWS: "What I mean Ms. Rice is that these terrorists change sides so often, you never know who they're working for. In 1991, one of the PLO's highest officers, Salah Khalaf, was killed in Tunis by Abu Nidal's men. "

RICE: "That's good."

NSNEWS: "My point is, the best way to catch terrorists is to cooperate with all nations. Whose side is Osama Bin Laden on now? These terrorists evidently do not have any loyalty, they switch sides all the time, so how can we possibly know who they are targeting or why? "

RICE: "It doesn't matter. If we get him, somebody will take his place. "

NSNEWS: "Thank you Ms. Rice. I guess we'll have to end this interview because it looks like we're going in circles."

We have been speaking to National Security Adviser, Condaleesa Rice, and I hope you can join us next week, when we won't be speaking, to Oliver North or to John Poindexter because they are both private citizens who will not divulge the national security secrets that Condoleeza Rice's is brilliantly managing with unprecedented incompetence -- Thank you and good night."

TRANSLATION: Richard Clarke and the Clinton White House did a better job fighting terrorism because the resources of the America Government were more widely shared. Counter-terrorism experts like Richard Clarke had a huge presence in the freewheeling Clinton White House. Wary of the CIA, Clinton often skipped the President's morning intelligence briefing and got his intelligence instead from Clarke, who collected it from the various spy agencies. Clarke was not a "principal" on the National Security Council, but he might as well have been, wandering into top-level meetings and even the Oval Office -he was everywhere, and America was better off, for it.

Newsweek described the access that ceased to be, when Bush became the President:

The Bush administration brought an end to such informality and openness—and to Clarke's access. Clinton enjoyed being the center of a wheel with many spokes. Bush follows the hierarchical Republican executive model.
The Bushies thought they were bringing order to chaos, but demoting men like Clarke and putting somebody like Barbara Olson in charge of saving the Nation proved to be more chaotic than anything that Clinton had done.

In retrospect, the only chaotic thing that Clinton did was Monica Lewinsky, and that's because all the law enforcement resources that should have been reserved for terrorists, were devoted to the effort to impeach the President of the United States.

So in the final analysis, we proved to be safer with Clinton and Monica Lewinsky than we were with Bush and Barbara Olson.

Clarke was essentially Clinton's informal National Security Adviser, and he proved to be pretty good.

Copyright © 2009


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