The Origin of Viagra

January 8, 2000

The Origin of Viagra

Necessity is the mother of invention. This is the real story about the invention of Viagra. How do you come up with the idea to invent something like Viagra? Male impotence is the best kept secret in the world. American ingenuity is about solving problems, it is not about waking up in the morning and saying, "well, what am I going to do about the fact that Uncle Charlie does not wake up with a hard on the way he used to?" Well, folks, let's get serious for a second, where did the stimulation to produce a drug like Viagra come from?

It was supposed to be a secret, but our sources tell us that Viagra was invented because Kenn Starr was looking for a smut-filled reason to force the resignation of President William Jefferson Clinton.

Makes sense doesn't it? There had to be some explanation for the totally useless, smut-filled Starr Report. Bob Dole, who was Monica Lewinsky's neighbor when the plot was hatched, gave Monica Lewinsky a supply of the drug when it was in it's experimental stage, she slipped the powdered version in the President's Coka Cola and the rest is history.

Think hard. The necessity to give the President of the United States the stiff that Monica tamed was the tip of the iceburg that brought Monica to her knees and the President of the United States to the knee-jerk reaction, "I did not have sex with that woman." In a nutshell, that is why Viagra was invented, it was a hard nut to crack but our sources are reliable.

Our clever skeptics will invariably point out the fact that the Brits have been credited with the invention of Viagra, but it was US researchers who had been trying to figure out the mysteries of male erection, it was Monica Lewinsky who took the matter into her own hands and Bob Dole appreciates the need to market the drug.

Monica Lewinsky has been sworn to secrecy, she can't even fly on the same plane with a competent reporter, lest there is a leak. She doesn't even understand the fact that she has become a celebrity. On January 3, 2000, when Larry King asked her how she learned about the “breaking” news story that made her a national celebrity, she said, “I am trying to think. I am not sure I can say how I found out. I learned it on ‘The Drudge Report,’ and I didn't have my computer”.

Truth is, Matt Drudge is like Viagra, he was invented because Republicans are trying to control the Internet as well as the President of the United States.

Our journalistic standards are pure and simple. If Monica Lewinsky will not talk, we will continue to speculate. Republican Bob Dole, did not become the poster boy for erectile dysfunction disorder because he is a Joe Namath look-alike. Far from it, connect all the dots and the trail leads directly to the only Monica Lewinsky neighbor that Ken Starr failed to subpoena. Clearly, if Ken Starr knew how to protect Bob Dole's privacy, he should have exposed the fact that President Clinton’s erectile was chemically induced because it would help us understand the need to invent Viagra --and that's important.

Dick Morris claimed that Matt Drudge was the “Woodward and Bernstein” of the Clinton scandal,and that is all you need to know to appreciate our journalistic integrity.

To keep a long story short, the 'bombshell tape' that the New York Post highlighted, regarding the massive effort to entrap the President was prepared under the advice of Linda Tripp's good friend, Lucianne Goldberg. These sneaky, political operatives work in teams and they have an astounding longevity. In 1972, Lucianne Goldberg was a spy who posed as a magazine writer covering the Democratic presidential candidate, for the sake of reelecting Richard Nixon. History repeated.

Disclaimer: We do not authorize or condone the use of Viagra under any circumstances or conditions.